I Want You to Want Me

Right, tomorrow… or the next day. Whatever.
So, The Birthmonth Project.
You may have noticed, that last month, for my birthday, I was a bit whiney. I wanted romance, I wasnt getting it, and even though Steve did one of things on my list, I still wasnt that happy.
Which obviously means I have an attitude problem.
So, I thought, I just need to show him how it’s done. And The Birthmonth Project was born.
For the month of February, I milked my birthday for all it was worth. And since some people werent around to celebrate my birthday on a Sunday… it seemed like I was spending the whole month celebrating, starting with my mom’s gift that arrived before Valentine’s and ending with a March 2 (February 31, if you will)lunch with The Girls. On one of these days, Steve complained that he only got to celebrate his birthday on the actual day… none of this month long crap.
So, I decided to change that.
And show him how it’s done.
So, March 1, I snuck an adorable card with two playful kittens in his lunch. On the inside of the card, I scratched out ‘day’ and wrote in ‘month’. The card made him happy, which made me happy. And so it begins…
On March 2, I had big big plans. About a month ago, I had seen an ad in the paper for John Leguizamo (if you dont know him, please watch Moulin Rouge). Steve has watched his one act on HBO more times than I can count, and he laughs hysterically every time. I knew this would be something he’d enjoy, and I also knew, since it was at Duke, he probably wouldnt know about it. So, I quickly got us tickets, and toyed with the idea of telling him, but then decided, if I could keep it a surprise, I would. I told him he had to be home by 6 at the latest because we were going out that night. But I didnt tell him where. It was a risky scenario, many things could have blown up in my face… but they didnt. It wound up being one of the happiest nights of my life. He was incredibly cute trying to guess where we were going “So, wherever we’re going, you need a purse…” When we arrived at Duke… I told him that past this point (the parking deck) I had no control over if he found out or not. So, he could either try and figure it out or he can not. And though he spent the next half hour trying to figure it out, God was on my side and he did not. Until the guy announced John Leguizamo, he had no clue. And that was awesome. And we laughed and laughed and laughed. And he thanked profusely.
But my point is, I was happiest when he was happiest. And it was fun for me. I know it’s hard to believe, but most of the time, I can be a bitch of a wife. I’m annoyed, I’m frustrated, I’m fed up… I never think ‘wow, he’s cute.’ I think ‘why in the world am I married to this farting, burping, annoying man?’
And that needs to change. Because above all things, I want to be happily married. Not just, married and happy, but happily married.
I am the only one who can fix that.
So The Birthmonth Project continues. An excellent excuse to act as pleasant, sweet and as wonderful as possible. I’ll let you know if it’s worth it, but already, I’d say it is.

I Drove Myself Insane

Could I blog less? I dont think so.
I have two things I could talk about.. they’re on complete opposite sides of the spectrum.
1. The Bird Story
2. The Birthmonth Project

We’ll go with story number 1, for today and save number 2 for tomorrow. (Remind me, would you?)

So, I’m driving to work this morning, after light therapy, and I see a bird, alive, with an obviously broken wing in the middle of the road. It was a seagull, and my first thought was ‘why is there a seagull in the middle of North Carolina? the ocean is all the way over there.’ I avoided hitting the struggling bird, and became very sad because there wasnt anything I could do for him. I thought about pulling over and helping him to the side of the road, but I was in the middle lane on 15-501 and no chance of getting over anytime soon. Then I thought, ‘he’s a seagull, he’d probably pluck me to death, not realizing I’m trying to help him.’ and then I thought of the seagulls in ‘Finding Nemo’. And then I was even more sad that I couldnt help the poor poor bird. So, I prayed that someone with gardening gloves and more savvy driving skills than myself would see the bird, before it was hit, and rescue it. Hopefully, they’ll have the time to take him to the pet hospital down the road.
And I dont even like birds that much.
But that wasnt my only recent incident with birds… last week, on the way to a church thing, Steve hit a bird. He was driving, and I was looking out and saw a couple of beautiful red birds playing on the side of the road. And I thought ‘what cute little birds…’ followed by a scream of shock as Steve blew through the bird and we heard a big clunk under the car. I dont think he did it on purpose, he just didnt see the thing. The funny part was when we parked the car in the church parking lot and got out, there was a bird on the telephone wire chirping. Without even looking at it, I said ‘that’s right little guy, yell at him for running over your brother.’ We look up, and there’s a red bird. It made us both sad.