Can You Read My Mind?
The other day, at small group, I was sharing during our prayer request time. Just about our general frustration and the disappointment of hearing that we were the only family in December not to receive a referral. The majority of the people I was sharing with have been with us since the beginning, praying for us regularly. They know us well. But there was also one new couple there. So, all they knew was what they had gathered from my speaking, which wasnt much. I sensed the guy had something to say or ask, so I turned towards him. And he said it me “Well, you know, most adoptive mothers usually have children of their own after they adopt.” In such a “it’ll be okay, dont worry” kind of way. I was speechless. I stumbled over my words and eventually said something like “oh, no, well, we’re adopting because we want to.” Which isnt even a proper thing to say, since whatever path you take to adopting has little to do with desire. I was just surprised by his very quick assumption that infertility was an issue. And I’m always bothered by the “child of your own” phrasing. And that it seemed to be the first thing that came to his mind. I was surprised that he would allude to something as personal as infertility, considering that we had just met. Like I said, it really threw me off. I wish I would have handled it better, and maybe informed him a little more. Hopefully I’ll have more opportunity to speak to him about adoption as our first choice.