Its So Hard To Say Goodbye
AJ has been home for 3 months today. I think we’ve come a long way. While I’ve spent the past couple of months wondering about what proof there is to whether or not we’re bonding well, I now have it. In the form of Separation Anxiety. Praise God that my son is so attached to me that he cries when I walk away from him. It was flattering at first, but I’m over that now. Now I just wish for the day when I can walk away from him and he will just smile and wave. I’d even take a “get out of here, mom, you’re cramping my style.”
But the crying, when I hate to see/hear him cry, makes things difficult. I would rather go about my day one handed (cause its not enough to be right beside me on the floor, he must be held!) than have him cry. But sometimes I do need two hands, or I need to shower, or I need to go to work. Those times are tough. I feel guilty for leaving him, I feel guilty for the person left to comfort him (even when he’s usually fine a minute later), and I especially feel bad for Steve, who does not seem to have the same effect that I do (and also slightly jealous).
All around, its no fun.