It Aint Easy Being Green
Whats interesting about adopting is you can totally back out. When you’re pregnant, you’re kinda stuck with it. There’s no backing out, really. (well, besides the obvious way… but thats big stuff).
Right now, I could totally back out. And blame it on whatever… we couldnt come up with the cash or something.
I dont think I’m actually considering backing out. I’m just, not as excited as I was last week. I mean, really, I havent blogged about it all week. I havent done any research. I put it on the back burner cause other stuff started taking up my time, but also because of the whole Cooper scare.
Now that I’ve realized I cant do it on my own… well, its a whole new story. I’ve never been good at being dependent on other people. And though I realize it takes a village, and I have the most wonderful villiage anyone could ask for, still, I figured it’d be me, raising my child. Even though the husband will be helpful, I still expect it’ll be me carrying the responsibility. So, I kinda figured I’d take what I could get from him, but worst comes to worst, at least I knew I could do it all on my own.
But I cant.
So, now, is it really such a good idea?
I suppose I’ll have to let God decide. Because, if He’s feeling its a bad idea, He’ll make the call. I’ll go forward with it, cause of the pressures, but God, You can close the door if You think I’m making the wrong move. Or maybe You want me to be more dependent on You. Yeah, good luck with that, Buddy.