I have no idea why I was so nervous about going to the Carolina Adoption Services (CAS) meeting. It was a group setting, and if you think about it, I was checking them out, not the other way around. They’re the ones that should have been nervous.
But instead, my stomach was turning. Possibly because this agency could be the one, and if they are the one, then we have something to move forward with.
Lets get the important stuff out of the way. If we do go with CAS, I cant be wearing the same outfit twice. So, for the record, I was wearing my dark grey slacks, black boots, and my shimmery purplish button down shirt from NY&Co (the one that Eva Longoria wears). I had on my everyday silver earrings and my hair was down.
Though it doesnt matter as much, the husband was wearing khakis and his white henley with the red and grey stripe. Brown shoes, brown jacket.
The meeting went very well. They brought in a lovely, talkative, family… The Chubbs. They had adopted a boy from Russia, Jackson Alexi. He was super cute and we spent the majority of his time making eyes at each other.
Though we’re not considering Russia, it was nice to hear them talk so candidly about the process. The seemed to love CAS, which was most important. Though they complained about the paperwork, the goverment, the lost fingerprints, they said CAS was always helpful. Especially when they were in Russia. Solved lots of problems there.
Most of the information that the CAS rep went over, I had already read on the website. But thats okay. The husband hadnt heard much.
I did learn they do lots of humanitarian stuff. I like that.
I do have to admit that by the end of the meeting, I wanted one of each. And I’ve never been big on having lots of kids. I’d be happy with two. But they’re all so cute…

On the ride to lunch, after the meeting, we officially decided on Korea. The husband was stuck between Korea and Guatemala. I really didnt want to choose the country based on price alone (“Mommy, why’d you pick Korea?” “You were on sale, honey.”) But, I know our budget will be tight, and I decided I would rather like to go with Korea, knowing that we might have a better opportunity of having enough money to travel there. With Guatemala, it was pretty much a guarentee that we wouldnt be able to afford their internation fee and travel.
The husband established that he did want to travel, if we can. I’m glad he said that, cause I didnt know. I figured he’d just want to do whatever was cheapest, and having the child escorted over definitely is. But he said he did want to experience the country and all that. I’m glad. I really want to go. Except for the part about the DMZ line. No way jose.

Since we decided on Korea, I sure am a lot more interested in who’s Korean. We were watching Gilmore Girls last night and I go “Are they Korean?” “The Kim’s? Yeah.” I hope my daughter plays the drums like Lane Kim.

We went out to dinner with our good friends A and J to share the news. A is Chinese, J is American. Apparently they have a great code word, to avoid J pointing at Asian babies (cause pointing is rude). He gets to tap A and say “Honey, CAB.” and she knows he’s talking about the Cute Asian Baby. In about a year, I’ll have my own CAB. Maybe I’ll decorate the nursery with yellow NY taxi cabs. Heh. I kid. Though taxi cabs are fun…
Of course I’m thinking about baby room ideas already. If we get a girl, I’d like to ask ALD to paint a mural. My idea is for one wall to be a summery daytime scene with hills and flowers and stuff (but no bees) and then the ceiling to fade from daytime sky to nightime sky and the opposite wall be a nightime scene. All whimsical and fun and happy.

So, last thing. I’d say we’re 95% set on CAS as our agency. I’m gonna do another search, just to make sure I didnt leave anyone out.
The other two agencies I picked in a previous entry are out. One didnt return my emails, and the other only offers Guatemala. Bethany, a big agency that I was never keen on, only adopts Koreans in certain states, and NC isnt one. So, they’re out too.
We decided not to send in our application (and the $200 fee) until our W2s come in and we have an idea of how our taxes will work out this year. Hopefully that return will help get us started with the process. But they should be in the mail this week, right?

Angelina Jolie!!!
R and I went out for Divatinis last night and I was sharing with her about how I felt like the only person in WORLD where adoption was their first choice. And, she quickly pointed out that Angelina Jolie adopted two children and is now pregnant with her own. Hell yeah. I have no problem at all being compared to Angelina Jolie. She’s hot.

I’m kinda bored today, and trying to keep my mind off the fact that two of the adoption agencies I sent emails to, havent emailed me back. So, I’ve been surfing for well written blogs on adoption. I’ve found quite a few, they might even have their own webring. But ALL of them are infertile women seeking adoption as their second choice. And while I’m happy for all of them and their recent journeys, what I really want to read about is a person out there juuuust like me. A wacko that God called to adopt a child first, when she’s probably capable of normal procreation. As of now, I think I might be the only one.
The Naked Ovary is the one I’m reading through right now. It’ll take awhile, I’m still back in the archives of 2004. Very enjoyable and definitely helping me remember there are other crazy people out there. I’m not the only one that feels incapable of just about everything.
Besides adoption being my first choice, I have one more great thing on my side. God’s got my back. Its good to know, and I’m glad I’m finally understanding what that means for me.
“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 The Message).

I think, at this point, its pretty clear that God doesnt want me experiencing any typical celebratory events. First we elope, now we’re adopting. I missed out on a big fancy wedding (and all the presents) and now I wont be partaking in the “normal” way of having a baby. (but hopefully someone will throw me a baby shower).
I’m not sure if this is to keep me grounded, or to punish me for being so materialistic… either way, if its anything like the day I got married, it will be worth the sacrifice.
However, I’d like this process to feel a bit more real. I’m sure after we submit a application to an agency, and the first check is written, it’ll feel more real. Right now, we’ve told a few people, but thats the only step we’ve taken (besides deciding and committing in our hearts that this is what we’re doing).
Yep.
We have a informational meeting on Saturday with one of the agencies I mentioned before. I hope it’ll go well. I’d like to make a decision soon. I’m getting antsy to get the ball rolling and bring my baby home.

Just so all the agencies out there know, if your website sucks, I will cross you off my list. Its 2006, people. It needs to be easy to navigate, very informative, and (hopefully) attractive.

Here are a few agencies I’m considering.

Adoption Resource Center
Carolina Adoption Services
Christian World Adoption

CWA has a lovely website… but Guatemala is the only country we’re interested in from them… and Guatemala is the most expensive.
CAS offers programs in Korea and Vietnam, two countries that I’m very interested in.
ARC also offers Korea. Their website isnt as nice…

With those picked out, I guess I’ll have the husband read through them and weigh in his opinion.