I dont know about you, but I’ll be attending a butt load of baby showers in the coming months. All the things on my list would make great gifts, but here are a few more (and less expensive) gift ideas.

Philadephia Chickens. This book/CD rocks. Thanks to The Girls for introducing me to Sandra Boynton’s great work. She’s an amazing writer/illustrator and her CDs are fun for the whole family.

Lamaze: Octotunes. I knew someone (cant remember who, though) that could play songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star or Row Row Row Your Boat on this toy. It impressed me. Again, fun for the whole family.

Butt Paste. Baby Powder is out, Bordeaux’s Butt Paste is in.
Canvas Folding Bins. Organization is key.

All in One Health Care Kit. I have to admit I never took an emory board to my baby brother’s nails. But I used every other item in this kit on him.

Shopping Cart Seat Cover. I read a lot of debate on this item. Is it being over protective? When I was a baby, I chewed on the shopping cart handle and I’m alive and well. But, I still like it. It makes the cart more comfy, you dont have to worry about how many babies have put their mouth in the same place. And it works for high chairs in restaurants.

And there you have it.

Yesterday, Tenna called Steve (I knew she liked him better than me) and asked how much time we’d be spending with our new baby once we got home. Um… as much as humanly possible? But, Steve and I hadnt really discussed (or rather, had successfully avoided discussing) our post-baby-arrival plans.
We already know I’d prefer to be a Stay at Home Woman. And that was even before the consideration of adding a child to the mix. At this point, I desperately want to stay home with my child. Its all I dream about. But, its not entirely realistic. Adding a family member and cutting out half your family’s income just doesnt match up. So, in some compacity, I’ll have to continue working.
Which brings in the need for child care. I HATE daycare centers. My mom worked in one for several years (and I would go in with her when school wasnt in session) and I really got a behind the scenes look on how they operate. Granted, that was only one place. And it wasnt that the people were evil (though in many cases they are, and how are you to know) its just that its impossible for one human to care for 10 or so kids at one time. Kids are going to get neglected. Not to mention the fact that they’re always sick. And then there’s the money. While I think those workers are still underpaid for the job they’re trying to do, I hate the idea of my entire paycheck paying for someone else to be with my child. I mean, whats the point of working? I consider a traditional day care center to be a very last resort.
So then there’s in home care. A mom, caring for a couple of kids and her own. I’m more okay with this idea. I’d prefer for it to be someone that I know already, cause trusting a stranger with your child is never an easy thing to do. I still dont like the idea of half my paycheck going towards that, though.
(Perhaps if my job was fulfilling in some way. More than a job. But, its not. All it is to me is something that keeps me from doing the things I really want to do because I need money. Stupid money).
When it comes to an adoptive child, bonding and attachment are very important. Its not as easy to do, since chances are likely the child has suffered some sort of trauma. No matter what, the child has been taken from its birth mother. And, then, after it finally learns to trust again (yes, even an infant) it will be taken away from its primary care giver and placed in our arms. Most experts recommend that after that point, the parents should be the only one to provide for the needs of the child (feeding, changing, comforting) until that relationship is solid. And who knows how long that will take.
So, yeah, we’re still deciding how that’ll work out.
Here’s what we do know. Though I’ve always thought TWC to be the better one when it comes to benefits, turns out Duke offers a greater parental leave. I’ll get 3 weeks, 100% pay off. (Interestingly enough, thats only available after you’ve taken 3 weeks using your own banked time. But I should be fine there, I’ve got an obscene amount of vacation/sick time). And past those 6 weeks, I can take an additional six weeks off unpaid (without them giving my job to someone else (not that they could actually find someone else willing to do all that I do, but yeah). Steve, on the other hand, gets zero paid leave. Sure he can use up his vacation time and stuff, but other than that, nada. Its a shame, though. I was really looking forward to our new little family spending some quality time together and sharing the responsibilities. But at least we’ll still have free cable.

You can call it an early Christmas list, but here are a few things that I think would help me to be a better mom.

There is one thing, that above all else, I think would help me be a better mom. A laptop. Preferably a Mac. And even more preferably, a purple one. But at this point, I’ll settle for any old laptop with wireless access. I’m desperate. In my mommy future, I see no opportunity to go to a seperate room and check my email. I do, however, see the opportunity to put my baby in its favorite swing and grab my laptop. And, I’d love to be able to blog from Korea. How cool would that be?

You know how much I love Veggietales. But my collection is half VHS / half DVD. I’d love to have the earlier videos on DVD. From “Where’s God When I’m Scared?” to “Madame Blueberry.”

This t-shirt. Or this one.

A food processor. Though I’m still researching the homemade baby food gig, its a major surprise that I dont have one of these. And even though it’ll be years till I’m at the fresh baked after school cookies stage, I still want one of these.

And for one of those Calgon Take Me Away days… a gift certificate here.

Those things would make me the best mommy in the world. Heh.

UPDATE: I’ve been shopping for books and came across this one. I would like it for our trip.

Well, I havent much to say about last night. It went well, but almost too fast. We gave her a basic tour of the house, the same one I gave my dad a couple of months ago. She commented on the paint colors and how we clearly showed our style in our decorating. Her social worker moments including taking a good look at our deck to be sure the rails are at regulation distance and taking note that the baby’s room has a closet (which is apparently important to Korea) (and thank God she didnt open that closet…). She didnt pull out her white glove, she didnt even go near the litterboxes, she didnt check my pantry.
We did learn some new facts about Tenna, though. She’s engaged to a very handsome man from Israel. Like so handsome that she decided to become his ‘agent’ and submit some head shots to modeling agencies. He recently got his first modeling gig, for a cologne. The company was looking for someone with an ‘ethnic’ quality and he fit the bill. And because she’s marrying this handsome Jew, she’s also ‘converting.’ When she mentioned this, with just that word, it wasnt till she followed with the words ’synagoge’ and ’sabbath’ that I knew what she was converting to. Converting to a Mac? (seriously, that was my first thought). But, she’s becoming an orthodox Jew and decided to move to Raleigh so that she could be within walking distance of a synagoge, since they dont drive cars on the Sabbath (and suddenly I wanted to show her my oven, look we have a sabbath button!). She also volunteers a lot at The Legacy Center in Raleigh. And she’s a big fan of crepes. She described a place she had heard of, some land that isnt a mall or shopping center but has rows of shops that you need to drive around to and among them is a fabulous crepe shop. No idea what she’s talking about, but I consider it a test and I will pass.
She left us saying that she’d be spending the majority of her Thursday writing our homestudy and we’d receive a rough draft soon.
And thats that. Why were you all so worried?

First on the list is this fun mirror that gets mounted in front of the car seat. The great thing about it is that it has a remote that can stay in the front seat and that way you can turn it on when the baby gets restless and needs a distraction. This recommendation comes from my coworker Laura. She had this item on her registry and I picked it up for her. Turns out her 7 week old, Mattie, HATES the car seat. And this mirror is the only way to get her to calm down for a little bit.
Fisher-Price Deluxe Auto Mirror

I also posted on a website I frequent (trianglemommies.com) asking the moms to recommend some things they couldnt live without. There was high debate. One thing a majority of the women recommended was not buying a travel system, and instead getting one of these, followed later by an umbrella stroller. They said the systems were too clunky, too difficult to manuever and took up too much space in their trunks.

There was also a debate between the Diaper Genie and the Diaper Champ (and just a regular trash can with a lid). First of all, the moms all agreed that nothing, NOTHING, can save you from the stank of a baby’s diaper. However, if you breastfeed, you dont have to worry about the stink till the baby starts solid foods. Then, be prepared. As for the products that promise to help with the smell, here’s what you need to know. The Genie requires custom bags and uses the “sausage” system. It twists each diaper into a happy little bag, promising that their special bag will keep the smell contained until trash pick-up day. Some moms swore by it. Other moms seemed to be fans of the champ. It uses regular garbage bags (the cheaper option). Even more cost concious moms said to suck it up, diapers stink. Get a regular trash can to help with the smell, but more importantly, take your trash out daily. Veteran moms promise you’ll get used to the smell. Personally, not something I look forward to.

Another debatable item was the Boppy versus My Brest Friend. As far as feeding support goes, I think the Friend is the better product. Though it looks kinda dumb (who wants a pillow straped around their waste?) the support seems more well rounded, including back support and a place to rest your arms. Though a mom with buff arms is hot, there’s no need to have fatigued muscles and shoulder strain because you’re feeding a baby every three hours. The Boppy will support a baby’s head just as well, and probably at the right height. Guess it depends on how tied down you want to be.

Also widely recommended was the Ultimate Crib Sheet. From what they say, this thing snaps around the slates of a crib, rather than fitting over the mattress. That allows for easy on and off with an accident. The UCS is soft on top, but has a vinyl bottom that protects the mattress. They also recommend keeping your super pretty sheets on the mattress and snapping the UCS on top. I’m not entirely sold on it, though I see the benefits.

When it comes to bathing, moms agree that not matter what, your baby is going to scream like bloody hell for the first few months. It may be liquid, but its no womb. So buy something cheap, set it up next to your kitchen sink and use the squirter for a nice rinse. Once they’re older, you can look into some bathtub options. If you want to go all out, you can bring home an inflatable duck that fits in your bathtub. I think this thing is nutso (though I’ll bet anything my mom will buy it for me, since my bathroom already has a duck theme).
Whatever the case, once you do move to bathtub bathing, you’ll need one of a nice comfy stool. You’ll thank me, I promise.

Last recommendation for today. Smart mom’s learned that cloth diapers make the best burp cloths. They’re extra absorbent (as they should be) just the right size, and easy to wash.

There you go, from expert moms. Kid tested, Mother approved. Just like Kix.