Because my God is kind, on the day that I write about how down and out I’m feeling, I get an email later in the day from our case worker that our homestudy will definitely be traveling to Korea in the month of December. December is tomorrow, people! What exciting news. Its so nice to have a definite mark on the calendar, rather than this wait we’ve been in. When its official, I will certainly let you know. And from that point, we sit and wait anxiously for a referral.
About a year ago, if someone would have casually asked me some variant of “do you have any children?” I would have given them an emphatic “no!” maybe even a “hell no.” But now, when someone asks, I get this wave of sadness, this incomplete, unwhole, terrible feeling. My “no” is filled with grief and disappointment and barely any hope. Sure things are starting to move along, and sure I havent been waiting nearly as long as some other people, and sure my journey has been relatively easy, but nonetheless, I still feeling empty inside. Its crazy that in the course of a year, I could go from whatever I was to just someone waiting for the chance to be a mom.
The last boy, in The Year of The Boy, arrived over the Thanksgiving holiday. Baby Jonah is here! Congrats to Annie & Tim on their new baby boy.
In the course of three months, we have welcomed 5 baby boys. Connor, Evan, Corban, Lukas and Jonah. Crazy!
Our homestudy packet has been mailed to Kathy, with FCA (Family & Children Agency). That means its one step closer to Korea. In fact, the next step IS Korea. As soon as they request another homestudy from Kathy, off we go! Let it be soon!
